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Breakage

by Breakage Music

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ryansholin
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Ken Gagne
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Enfys Book
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    What is Breakage? Breakage is an inventory of loss. Breakage is a written record of what's missing. Breakage is a report on what's broken. Breakage is the system by which we monitor empty spaces. Breakage is an exploration of the not too distant past, and a warning about the future.

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    Breakage, the album, is pay-what-you-want, and all proceeds will be donated to Clean Air Task Force >> https://www.catf.us/ CATF is a 25-year-old organization fighting to push governments and corporations to take concrete action against climate change.

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    I made this album, in part, to see if I could. After recording a cover a day in 2021, I wanted to try out some new instruments, learn more about sound design, and author some original content for a change.

    Conveniently, I was due for a very generous sabbatical from my day job, and spent large portions of the past three months working on these songs.     ... more
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1.
Sisyphus 06:27
lyrics
Sisyphus sighed, and smiled And picked up the rock again When you were just a child You rolled down the mountain and ran If you could go back To the way things started again Would you rewrite the scene Or let it play out again Sisyphus sighed and smiled And picked up the rock again Your routine looks like torture to me But would it make me feel something again If I could stay still For a dozen years or more Would the rock turn to sand Would you wait for me by the shore Sisyphus cried and tried To pick up the rock again And at the end of his life He climbed up the hill again If he could come down To where he started again He’d be running for miles until Gratitude walked again How many times have you rehearsed The speech about your curse How many times have you been thanked for what you’ve done How many times did the boulder fall Why do you think you’re called Would it make any difference If you knew someone was keeping score
2.
Drama Club 03:23
lyrics
You join Drama Club You join Camera Class You meet the new boy And you move too fast Passive resistance Jail support He puts on a suit And he takes you to court What’s the use in waiting for The perfect boy, the perfect girl What’s the matter with waking up Next to nothing at all What’s the use in waiting for The perfect place in a perfect world What’s the matter with waking up With someone you trust You throw a party Invite him in He’s dressed like Elvis And he only drinks gin Three weeks later He says it’s all in your mind Close the door And you leave him behind
3.
Moat 05:02
lyrics
What if we build a moat? What if we build a fence? What if we cut them off? What if we all are lost? What if we burn the boats? What if we close the doors? What if we count the days? What if we walk away? First the cranes came And they put up the walls again I couldn’t believe it You followed the trail Back to the quarry at the edge of town They said they needed it Our tangled lines, high tension spines We tracked the path, into the flats Waves rolled, over our heads, Silence never came but it never left Maybe we should think about what happens next What’s left in our latter days We fed their hunger with our dying ways The rains came Peach blossom under cooling towers Undersea lines and visiting hours The endgame We quarantined the fields of gold The cold embrace of the barren hold The last one Ruins all have stories to tell The first mover leaves just an empty shell Rivers of concrete swollen in the sun
4.
Anesthesia 07:36
lyrics
Stopped writing poetry In 1999 Nothing ever really happened to me The truth is less unkind Stabilized in the ICU My guts would not unwind Transfusion shocked me to my core And gave me some more time In Denver I took two instead of one It filled up all the space Met two hundred people at the bar And they all knew my face I couldn’t handle all the lifting noise I lost my sense of taste Until I took a breath and drank it down Let nothing go to waste Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia I tried to keep up with my old friends They had a big head start Drank whiskey til the neon blistered out You left without a spark Get one of C and two of D Progression to the heart Candle burned a hole into your side Premonition played its part Birds to the feeder, gather round to watch They soak up all the light Volunteers, nail them to the seats First the tremors, and then the fight Sound of thunder buried in the snow We walked all through the night Back to the city and our shuttered homes The kids are not all right Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia Learned to dance, talked your way inside And then you learned to run Dragon sleeping on your bedroom floor Would you still try anything once? Slam the door as you bolt outside You were raised under the gun Swore off the worst of them at dawn’s first light Then you stared into the sun Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia Anesthesia, Anastasia
5.
River 04:00
lyrics
A river unhandled A mountain unseen The future is gambled Our love in between Take me to the water I’ll find my way in Take me to the water And I’ll take the hint Yes I’ll take the hint We’re moving so slow now I can’t be too sure Then you break the silence Carve me up with your words Take me to the water I’ll feel my way out Take me to the water Erase all the doubt Erase all the doubt The space between worlds A walk in the night Then you take my hand And lead me out of the light You took something A little bit of something away Every time I wanted something That wasn’t something You knew I couldn’t hide Wide awake, wide awake And so alone
6.
Road 03:43
lyrics
We were East of Tucumcari On our way to New Orleans Took a left at San Antonio Had a talk with the local police You made long exposures of the stars At the edge of the Cumberland Gap Took another shot in West Virginia And pulled the map out of my pack Naked in the light of Bourbon Street The dancer didn’t let us walk her home She said her name was Georgia, but they called her Denise So her cover was already blown “This town’ll slice you up, With Dixie bottles, skull and bones.” Closed down the piano bar Slept an hour and left for home Find your feet on the path Let the road take you home Find the way to your past Make the road road into your own We drove all night, through the rain Hit Delaware by dawn Your car screamed across New Jersey We heard Big Bill sing his song Troubled In Mind, traveling blues Nerves as raw as paint I drank for three days and I couldn’t shake The dust out of my veins Find your feet on the path Let the road take you home Find the way to your past Make the road road into your own Ate at the bar, threw down my tools Got a glimpse of the immortal truth When I walked by the neighborhood church Songs with a clandestine sound Kept ringing in my head Flipped through the pictures I took And I called her up in bed
7.
The Scene 06:24
lyrics
We joined the scene after it started We heard their early stuff was the best “You shoulda seen them in 95,” they’d say, “Before the drummer headed west.” We saw Dinosaur Jr. for two American dollars Broke our glasses in the pit We went to CMJ with a college DJ Who never shut up and played the hits I never thought I’d leave the scene behind until I met you I never thought I’d ever love anyone who loves me like you do I never thought I’d ever need anyone who needs me like I need you You got your own basement apartment Went through your phases and read those books Broke your back carrying all that dirt around Cashed your checks and traded looks You sent your poetry to the Paris Review Burned your journals and old mixtapes Threw out your suitcase, turned down your collar And settled down to make some mistakes You never thought I’d leave the scene behind until I moved out You never thought you’d ever love anyone who came from this town You never thought I’d ever need anyone but you know that I need you now There’s so many times I want to tell you what I want to tell you what I want We forgot Albuquerque, we forgot Rochester California pictures faded with time But we’ve been honoring our ancestors ‘Cause all of their mistakes are yours and they’re mine Now we’re catching sleep in parking lots Watching the clock all day Waiting around for the rain to pour down On everyone who stood in our way (And then I promise we’ll make our escape)
8.
Breakage 06:55
lyrics
Everything we lost Everything we gained Everything we spent Everything we saved It all floats Down to the bottom It all drifts Down to the bottom Count every bottle Measure your means Package up the extra Delete all your scenes We all float Down to the bottom Yeah we all drift Down to the bottom Believe all the secrets Deceive with a smile Faking all your faith Losing all the while You’re gonna dig Down to the bottom Yeah you’re gonna sink Down to the bottom Dream another airport Dream another train Like Drake in the Canaries And Magellan in the Bay They all sunk Down to the bottom Yeah you’re gonna fall Down to the bottom Everything we lost Everything we gained Everything we spent Everything we saved It all floats Down to the bottom It all falls Down to the bottom
9.
Steep Climb 01:15
lyrics
On the steep climb through The gnarled web of tubing That wrapped around your waist I found your muddied blood Escaping the scene Unbalanced, but full grace I’d been there before Watching the charts Waiting for patience To come around But the last time counted Your blistering numbers My breath quickened My heart fell down
10.
Ocean Floor 04:05
lyrics
At the bottom of the ocean The pile up for warmth Pressing their face against the glass In the middle of the torment You pull the others close Dive beneath the waves, escape your past Ooh, in the water I see light In the water I see everything In the water, I see light If you listen for it closely The melody descends Their cries of lamentation, heard for miles Falling with the carcass They strip it to the bone Rebuild their stony cage, out of the bile Ooh, in the water I see light In the water I see everything In the water, I see light They’ll be waiting patiently For the trees to fall For the rains to come For it all to fall For the pain to come For us to tear it down So they can make us whole And we’ll be dirt again We’ll be sand again We’ll be grit again We’ll begin again When we finally hit the bottom of everything
11.
Road (2024 Remix) 03:43
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12.
Anesthesia (2024 Remix) 07:44
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about

Breakage was written, recorded, and produced by Ryan Sholin, mostly in 2023 during a sabbatical from his day job. You can read more about the influences and instruments that shaped these songs starting at breakage.link

credits

released May 26, 2023

All lyrics and music by Ryan Sholin, except for that one little sample of Suzanne by Leonard Cohen in Drama Club.

Some instruments and tools:
- Korg Minilogue
- Korg Volca Beats
- Korg Volca FM
- Pocket Operator KO-33
- Ableton Live
- Squier J. Mascis Jazzmaster
- Arturia Keylab 49
- Novation Launchpad
- Zvex Fuzz Factory
- NUX Analog Delay
- Arturia Analog Lab
- Spitfire Labs BBC Orchestra and other instruments

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Breakage Music Ashburn, Virginia

Breakage Music is Ryan Sholin. Exploring sound, revisiting the past, imagining alternate futures.

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